Actually, It’s Human Intelligence We Need to Worry About

“Like, it’s incredible. I typed in ‘best coffee shop near me’ and suddenly I had a route map to this local artisan coffee shop and my AI buddy had reserved a seat at the window and already ordered my dry added vit D mocha. But that’s trivial. It can help you learn a language and literally it sends me a Mandarin word each day. That’s literally with word phonetics and brushstrokes. I mean, I’d worry about my job but I’ve just graduated and I’m just thinking about it at the moment.”

“Oh my God, literally same. Like, I asked it to write my CV and it was like… chef’s kiss… literally perfect? And then I was like, ‘can you apply for jobs for me?’ and it basically did? I mean, I still have to, like, press send or whatever, but it’s literally doing everything. Game changer.”

“Right? But also, like, it’s kind of scary? Because my friend’s cousin’s boyfriend said that AI is literally going to take over the world in, like, five years? Or maybe ten? But also it can’t even, like, understand sarcasm properly, so…”

“Wait, can it though? Because I was literally being sarcastic with mine yesterday and it totally got it. I think. Or maybe it was just, like, coincidence? I don’t know. But it wrote me this whole thing about, like, quantum physics or whatever, and I was like, ‘I literally don’t understand any of this,’ and it made it simpler. Which is literally incredible.”

“See, that’s what I’m saying! It’s like having a personal assistant but it’s literally free? Well, I mean, I pay for Premium but that’s because I need the extra tokens. Whatever tokens are. But basically free.”

“My dad keeps saying AI is just, like, a calculator that sounds confident, but I’m like, Dad, it literally wrote me a sonnet about my cat. A calculator can’t do that. He’s literally from the wrong generation to understand.”

“Totally. Like, older people just don’t get it. My manager at work literally prints out his emails. Prints them out. And I’m like, ‘Have you heard of AI?’ and he’s like, ‘I don’t trust it,’ and I’m like, ‘Okay boomer, enjoy your paper.’ I mean, I didn’t actually say that because he’s my manager, but I literally thought it really loudly.”

“Oh God, my mum’s the same. She thinks AI is literally reading her thoughts because she Googled ‘knee pain’ and then got ads for knee braces. And I’m like, ‘Mum, that’s not AI, that’s just cookies,’ and she’s like, ‘What have cookies got to do with it?’ It’s literally exhausting explaining technology.”

“But like, it IS kind of creepy though? Because I was literally just thinking about ordering pizza and then my phone was like, ‘Pizza deals near you,’ and I’m like… how did it know? I didn’t even say anything. So maybe your mum has a point? Or maybe I accidentally said it out loud. I don’t know. It’s literally confusing.”

“The thing is, right, it’s going to solve literally everything. Like climate change? AI’s got it. Cancer? AI’s working on it. My relationship problems? AI literally gave me better advice than my therapist. I mean, I still see my therapist because, like, mental health, but the AI was literally more helpful about the thing with Jake.”

“Wait, you told AI about Jake? Isn’t that, like, private?”

“Well yeah, but it’s not like it’s a person person. It’s literally just code. It’s not going to gossip. Although I did ask it to write a passive-aggressive text to Jake and it was literally perfect. Like, it captured my exact tone. Which is either genius or terrifying. I haven’t decided.”

“See, this is what I mean about it being scary. Because like, what if it knows us better than we know ourselves? My AI literally predicted I’d be hungry at 3pm yesterday and suggested I order from that Thai place. And I was literally just about to do that anyway. So either it’s incredibly smart or I’m incredibly predictable.”

“You’re incredibly predictable. You literally eat Thai food every Tuesday.”

“Okay but I didn’t tell the AI that.”

“It probably, like, analysed your patterns or whatever. That’s literally what it does. It’s like… machine learning? I think that’s the term? Or is that blockchain? I always get them confused.”

“Blockchain is the crypto thing.”

“Right, right. But they’re both, like, algorithmic? I watched this YouTube video about it. Well, I watched half of it. The guy’s voice was literally so monotone.”

“The thing that literally blows my mind is that it can create art now. Like, I typed ‘sunset over mountains in the style of Van Gogh’ and it literally made this incredible painting in, like, three seconds. My friend who went to art school for four years was literally so offended.”

“Oh my God, I saw that debate online! Artists are literally so mad about AI art. But I’m like, it’s just a tool? Like, photographers didn’t put painters out of business. It’s literally the same thing.”

“Is it though? Because the AI literally trains on actual artists' work without permission. So it’s like… stealing? But also not stealing because it’s transformative? I don’t know…..